Solid use of Sunday

I went to prison today.

I was debating if I should write this here or... elsewhere.. but I had an interesting experience and I like to process. I have a friend that I have known (at this point on and off again) since 6th/7th grade. We had a bit of a falling out in High School but reconnected after that.

Due to some insane and ridiculous circumstances, she is currently serving time in prison for a crime she did not commit. 10 years. She has to serve at least 85 percent of it, therefore she has 5 years left. Unless something amazing happens and she gets clemency. I was so anxious to see her. Mostly of the unknown of going to a prison.

I had to apply and be approved. (background check and all) Truth be told, when I went out today to see her I wasn't sure if I HAD been approved yet. I was just hoping since this would be my last opportunity to see her before I left for school. I had talked to her mom and there was a list of things she warned me about:
You can't wear: orange, khaki, brown, tan, jewelry, underwire bras (for the ladies of course), v-neck shirts.
You have to carry your things in a see-through bag.
You could only have your car key&fob.
You could bring 20 $ in quarters.
No phones.
Bring a sweater because sometimes it gets cold. (inside obviously.. it's 106 outside)
You had to have your drivers license with you every step of the way.
You had to be there by 10 at the latest..

I got there and filled out a form. I went through a line that was much akin to security at the airport with the bins and all. I was anxious. I didn't know what I was doing. Thankfully, a blessing came in the form of a chatty woman who was there to see her daughter. She was ahead of me in line. I told her I had never been. She looked me up and down and said "you should be fine," then proceeded to give me directions of what would happen next. I am so grateful to have had my own personal guide.
They checked to make sure I had been approved and I had my wrist stamped.
A man checked my belongings.
The guards made idle chit chat between them, having a laugh.
I went through a metal detector.
I had my backside sniffed by a dog through a fence.
I waited and went through a automatic heavy metal door.
My ID was again verified as well as my stamp. I was worried it would rub off.
I went outside in the 106 degree weather, feeling ridiculous holding my sweatshirt.
I got on a small bus that rotated through the different units of the prison.
I produced my ID again and another metal door creaked open to allow my entrance.
It closed and the next door opened slowly.
I presented my form and ID again and gave it to the guard who called for the inmate. My friend.
I waited.
My guide was still there, waiting for her daughter. She chatted with me and explained what would happen when I left. Her daughter came.
I was alone.
Still no Rachel.
I waited. I heard the guard call for Rachel on 3 different occasions. She assured me that she was calling and that the inmate wasn't responding.
The inmate.
I sat, feeling awkward, on a plastic seat next to a window watching inmates come and go with their families. Chatting, playing games. laughing. I sat by a line of windows that looked in on the visitation room. It was a dull grey filled with tables. Half filled with people. Lots of orange.

Finally she came. My friend who I haven't seen in at least 6 years, who has spent the lest 3 + years in prison. I didn't know if I allowed to go and greet her so I waited for her to approach me. I hugged her. Her hair was so long. She only looked a little different. We found a table and proceeded to chat from about 10ish-3ish.

She had a lot to say. I asked her questions about her life inside. I asked about her daughter. She told me about the friend she made when she was in "county" that had been pregnant and Rachels parents agreed to take the responsibility of the child when he was born till the mom was out. (just 4-5 months.) The mom disappeared after she got out. Rachel's parents are in process of adopting him. Rachel said that for that reason alone she would go through all of this for her little brother to be a part of their lives.

She told me about the good and bad about the situation. Some of it was silly or minor scary moments. Not at all what I imagined. She is so optimistic about her time there. She spoke of the amazing support system she has from her parents and others who write to her. And sometimes the random strangers that write to her too. That was amusing. She said that this is her time to focus on becoming a better person, a better self. She spoke of who she was and how she had learned she didn't want to be that person again. Not saying she did horrible things, she just didn't want to go back.

She told me about how she was working on returning to church and how much she missed it. Yes, this situation sucks but she is making the best of it. That it could have been much much worse. She has a good room-mate who is relatively like her and they get along. She surrounds herself with good people. She is taking college classes, something she never did when she was in the real world. She reads in excess. She has a job for one of the better companies you can work for there. She was even just promoted and this job will give her a job when she's on the "outs," even though she is a felon. She will have money saved because of the job she has now. She seemed more on track than she had been before.  She plans for her future.

She asked about my plans. She asked about my life and my family. Silly stories about life and silly situations. I felt like I was bragging. She was stuck and I am on the "outs." There are things I don't have to worry about. There are things that I don't take advantage of. There are things I disregard because they're just there. I am looking at things differently.

She could have been bitter about her time there.
She could have been angry at the injustice of it all.
She could have checked out of life in general.
I don't know what I would have done in her situation.
Suddenly my woes seem fairly trivial.
Suddenly I want to make sure that every moment I have is worth something.

We wrapped up our time together. She didn't to be stuck at visitation in the heat during lock down, which would be happening soon. Now that I was approved, I would be able to come and visit her when I came back. I would, I promised. I hugged her. I told her I loved her. I wished her well and told her that even though I can't send her things, I would send her postcards. She turned to leave, told me she loved me and thanked me for visiting.

I had my ID returned to me and I returned through the doors, showing my ID, and through more doors. Bus, doors, ID check, and out again. I left the cool building to return to my hot car. Grateful for the ability to leave.

I hate missing church, but I feel like this was a fantastic way to use this Sunday. To see a friend in need. Completely unexpectedly too.

My guide, the woman who helped me, upon finding out that this was my first time to visit had told me that it would be hard to come. Hard to see my friend like this. And even harder to leave. It wasn't that way at all. I mean, I wish she wasn't there. I wish there was another way.. But based on her attitude alone about her situation, I know she will be okay.

Mentally, physically, spiritually.