I have been having an extremely weird week. And I dont know how i feel about it.
But here is a really great poem we had to read for my american lit class.

SHE WALKETH veiled and sleeping,
For she knoweth not her power;
She obeyeth but the pleading
Of her heart, and the high leading
Of her soul, unto this hour.
Slow advancing, halting, creeping,
Comes the Woman to the hour!–
She walketh veiled and sleeping,
For she knoweth not her power.

I wish I had some kind of wonderful and thoughtful insight, but I dont. I dont hate the piano anymore.. Thats new. It's not that bad. ha.
I need to look for jobs in AZ this weekend, and write out my resume.. I gotta finish this assignment.
later kids.
ARI

my dear friends in hollywood:
i consider us good friends for the hours and hours of entertainment you have given me especially over the last few years. i have looked forward to our time together and new advances in our friendship.i have laughed, cried and had whatever else emotion that you could think of happen because of your insight into my psyche and what i might enjoy. From high adventure to artistic prowess, i have been impressed with your work.
however:there is a genre of film that i both love and hate at the moment. these include italian job and the oceans trilogy.. i love these movies and i love seeing these people stick it to "the man.." when the time came to root for the thieves is beyond me. maybe with robin hood's "steal from the rich to give to the poor." now it is more of a steal from the rich to stick it to the rich, while i myself become richer. Once again, i still love for these movies and sadly look forward to more. i think, however, you are giving a wrong impression to the impressionable youth that thrive on these shows. they have begun to reenact these types of films- "casing the joint" for weeks to plan their great plan of stealing. of course, if it was brad pitt or george clooney we would be up in arms to see it again and again. but what if brad and george were just some normal guys, with no beef with the "store owner". what if you made a movie about that. couple of guys stealing just to steal. but not from a big cooperate hell hole like walmart, (not that i condone this either) but from a small, family owned business trying to make it by selling musical instruments as well as your radio shack needs. (you've got questions, we have answers- although your questions are often times moronic- there is no richard, stop asking for him). how do you think that film would serve? steal from the family store and a couple more stores in this po-dunk little town, and then just sit on the stuff just to say you did it and have it...people wouldnt be impressed..you would lose money and it would just be lame.
now as i ramble on, i realize that this will make no difference to you or anyone else. you will still make these movies, i will still watch them, but thankfully- the law in the po-dunk town can still catch brad and george in their pathetic twisted version of italian job or oceans.
take that suckers.
yours truly:
ari

So... I really love these Twilight books- right? right. I really love them. Of course, if I read them too much, they make me angry at the characters. I will read them again in a year or so when the next one comes out. Anyway- they are coming out with a movie and they are slowly coming out with information. but here it is:









the cullen family.. love them. i am totally pumped.

Happy birthday to meeee.
Okay. so yesterday was my TWENTY THIRD birthday. Man- i feel old. I dont think I ever thought about reaching this age. I am pretty sure I thought life would end at like 21.
Oh well. I am still here and kickin.
I had a fantastic weekend- consisting of WINGERS on saturday with kj, hannah, wendy, emily, sara, andra, and robyn. I loved it. sunday kj decorated the apt with streamers and balloons and some people came over for cake and ice cream.
I would write more, but I am tired and I desperately want to sleep, but I dont. lame.
noc,.

To my fantastic and amazing sister...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
her birthday was actually on thursday, (valentines day)
but I am acknowledging it now, because i love her so much.
She was there for me growing up.
I was her doll to dress, her prop for pictures.
She was and still is everything that I want to be.
I still look to her for guidance.
I look to her for peace of mind.
I look to her and I have never been disappointed.
So thank you-
You have always been there when I desperately needed you. Defending me and helping me. You have always been the one I wanted on my side.
Today I celebrate the birth of you, because i dont know where I would be without you.
I love you so much. I hope you know.

Surprisingly good day....
So yesterday I was obscenely stressed over this paper (7 pages min) that I had to write that was due... umm.. TODAY! yes thats right. Procrastination STRIKES again. dum dum dummmm!
But it ended up being a really good day.
*I got to hear from Soren
(jeeaaann grraaayy)
*Devotional was pretty darn good
*Got to talk to my friend Bryan- he is a kick in the pants.
(phantom phone, writing middle, TB)
*Got a package from mom
(I havent opened my presents... gotta wait for sunday)
*finished my paper. (at 1 am and up again at 7, but HEY! whateve! I think its great.)
AMEN!
the end.

as of right now... i hate the piano. i procrastinated my piano practice and now i have to make it up. so i hate it. i hate it all.
I am going to go watch PS I love you with Kjirst tonight. At least I have something to look forward to.
I need to do some New Testament work for class.
gah. this sucks.
i hate school.
i have reached a funk and i cant get out.

My friend Morgan text messaged me the other day to let me know that she had ordered my birthday present... But that it wouldnt come in until August 2nd. 2 seconds later I had her on the phone because I realized what it was. I am so excited.

happy days are here again. And THANK YOU MORGAN!

I watched this movie last night and this morning. I was intrigued by the possibility that it could be a good movie and have a good message. I was mistaken. I am really sorry guys but I thought this was a horrible movie. This man thinks he has 60 days to live... And what does he do with his 60 days? Proves his lack of communication skills with the woman he wants to marry for all eternity. He shows that he is overly judgmental towards his mother and best friend. Even in the beginning when he is doing his interview everything was about HIS goals. Unless this is completely satirical then I guess it would fit. And he is already engaged to Ally when he gets home. Was his whole heart in the mission? I tend to think not. I was sorely disappointed with the movie and would never watch it again and urge people not to see it. It was bad dialog and bad characterization. Mormon movies arent getting better.

I am sorry if you found this movie inspiring and something great but I thought the character of Rowe was offensive to missionaries returning home and lds people who i pray arent that judgmental.

I am losing faith in mormon media. Books and movies are going downhill and I havent seen one in quite some time that was good.

I feel a void that cannot be filled. I think it might be the weather. Maybe it's something else.

There is something missing. What it could possibly be, I have no idea. I am just so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of movies, tired of being tired. I dont know what I am doing here.

So I was thinking this morning or last night or something. When I talk to people and tell them that my mom is getting married this June, they always ask how I feel about it.
Well, here it is:
I am F-I-N-E! It will be weird because there is this other man, but I can handle that. It will be great for her. Because I sure as hell dont want her alone. I think that it is awful that she has been alone for this long. And I admit that it is a hard concept to think about and I am uncomfortable at times. I also admit that there is a good chance I will run away at the reception and hide in a hole in my house. I dont handle change well.
But here's the thing. As much as people ask and I respond with a hesitant remark- mainly just cause it will be weird- if I wasnt okay with it- I would be a demon from hell itself. When mom started dating at all- she dated a man in my ward who had lost his wife 4 months previous. Partially because I knew his wife and he was now dating my mom- I was not a pleasant soul. I was openly rude to him and I didnt care. So the people that think I am not handling it well, they can take their opinions and shove it- because I think I am doing okay.

Anyway. I have to read this Anita Stansfield book- Dancing in the Light. The poster board crap of LDS romance fiction. The story is told from the point of view of a man who loses his wife. I am so sorry, but this character is illogical. I cant imagine a man talking or acting the way this man sometimes does. And the crap that his family "goes through"- the fact that there are no bitter feelings and all forgiveness, is also illogical. But I think there would be someone(s) with some resentful feelings somewhere. I feel embarrassed reading it. I needed to get through half of it by tomorrow (done) and I felt weird reading it while I was on campus. Technically it is a text book, but no one else knows that! I hate being forced to read it. It is junk. Anita Stansflield- you suck.

I think Kjirst has made it her mission to introduce me to many wonderful and marvelous things- that I wouldnt pick up on my own. Movies-musicals. All that jazz. It's going to be an interesting semester if that is the case. Tonights new addition to my world is the pbs broadcast of "The Lights of the Piazza". It was amazing. I loved it. They did this whole behind the scenes thing too which they should start doing. Broadway musicals on dvd or broadcast so that they can get more of an audience. Anyway.. I loved this musical. And there was a guy that played the main character.... I dont remember his name in the play, but his name is Aaron Lazar. He has the most amazing voice. kjirst and I went on youtube to find any other clips or anything else he was in. Anyway. I say wow.
Anyway.. So... I fell down on Friday on the way to class.. Three times. And in the course of this, my cell phone popped out of my pocket and was left behind in the snow. I called it later and some guy found it in the parking lot.
What else... OH! Kjirst and I went to see "Passage to Zarahemla" this weekend. It's a movie made by Chris Heimerdinger, who wrote some of my favorite books growing up. Anyway. It was really cheesy, but it is a mormon-flick so what can you expect? But it pretty much was a Chris-fest because he wrote it, directed it, wrote the songs for it, performed some of the songs, and was in it. And his characters name was Chris. How ironic. We laughed at the weirdest places and probably inappropriate places because we thought it was hilarious. Anyway, after the movie, we went to another theatre and watched the last hour of P.S. I love you. So good. Of course, we've never seen the beginning, but the end was good. We loved it so much, that we went to Wal-Mart and Kjirst bought the soundtrack. It is way good.
My birthday is coming.. In exactly two weeks actually. I am going to be 23. I feel old.. mainly because of where I go to school. But whatever. I think I am going to go for now.
Later.
ARI