hashtagtom

So I woke up the other morning to message from Tom (in London) suggesting I add a friend on FB. I kind of figured out that it was some relation of Tom but wasn't sure. In a series of conversations and pesterings, I found that it was indeed Tom's cousin and that Tom wanted us to be friends.

Tom: Amanda, what are you doing Saturday night?
Me: What, are we gonna go out? (I was very amused at myself because I'm hilarious, he's in London, and we have established COUNTLESS times that we are never gonna date.)
Tom: no. But you should go on a hike with [cousin] and friends/fam. they are awesome! plus he loves books and is awesome.
Me: I am eyeing you suspiciously.
Tom: I'm eyeing you. In general.

In a series of conversations and connecting with the cousin (after much pestering from Tom, surely), he asked me to join them on a hike. When I eventually asked Tom WHY he wanted me to meet his cousin/hang out with relations..

"Cause you need to be integrated into my family.
Not in a romantic way.
Just adopted.
Cause
You're all alone in Utah
And now you can have a big family"

(tom's mom is the second of twelve, apparently)

This exchange might have been the nicest thing he could have said.

I have this thing about being forgotten. Dismissed. Being on the other side of the world from these amazing friends I made in London heightens that fear... But I appreciated this moment of being remembered and thoughtfully considered.

The whole hike thing turned into a mess with me having major asthma problems and turning back. BUT! They were really a good group.

Thanks, Tom.

1 Nephi 11

Just thinking. I always loved 3 Nephi 11, because that's the record of when Christ comes to the Nephiites. But in 1 Nephi 11, that's when Nephi has a vision of the Saviour, his ministry and his death. Random thoughts by me.

But really my reason to be typing on this Wednesday morning. I ended up flipping through my scriptures today to find where I wanted to start and saw a note, written boldly. "READ OUT LOUD." Why Amanda, what could you be talking about (I said to myself) so I stopped to see.

Ah, yes. This is when Nephi is shown the vision of the tree of life. Good chapter, I think to myself. Someone had mentioned this at conference. The "Look, and I looked." What did he see? So I decided to read this one today, to see what he saw. And at my own request, I read it out loud.

I again realized that the tree of life was the love of God. After this weekend of conference and Elder Hollands address, he made so many brilliant remarks, but there was one that stuck out to me this morning while going over my notes. The first commandment of God was to love God. The first truth is that God loves us. I am again reminded of a loving Father in Heaven that wants the best for his children. I am reminded of my own dad, who loved me beyond measure, and I love him. And it is because of this, that on some small earthly scale, I can understand the love of my Heavenly Father. So as Nephi discusses the tree of life and how it is the most desirable thing, I understand, on my Amanda-scale, what that means. And that the iron rod, the word of God, leads to this most desirable, most sought over love.

As anyone might know, I am a fan of story. Others and my own. I have teachers voices in the back of my head talking about characters and their voices coming through. Now, I know that Nephi was a real person, but I feel like his personality happens to be seeped through these pages. His curiosity, his wonder, his defeat. So as I read this chapter out loud, I looked as he looked and saw what he saw and wondered at what he beheld. Because it's there. And it's beautiful. And as he discusses the glimpses he sees of the birth and ministry of the Saviour, the miracles and healing... And then it utter anguish he recounts:
"And it came to pass that the angel spake unto me again, saying Look! And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, the he was taken by the people; yea, the Son of the everlasting God was judged of the world..." This emphasis here just shows his disgust that the Son of God would be judged of the world. That He was taken. And in despair, Nephi simply states, "and I saw and bear record." And to finish off his anguish, "And I, Nephi, saw that he was lifted up upon the cross and slain for the sins of the world." Simply said, bearing witness of this atrocity.

Random bits.

So tonight I got to go to see a really interesting play called "Mother Courage and All Her Children." Fascinating, really. Would I have been prompted to see it at any given time? Nope. But Soren, my totes-best-bud, was in it, and for the first time in 9 years of our friendship, I got to see him perform on stage! It was fantastic. I knew he had been in plays and everything, but it was a completely different story getting to see him on stage! Well done, sir. Well done.

In other news:

Moving to Utah has been interesting. I feel like I am falling into some old habits that I would rather avoid. But the main problem here is my lack of job prospects. There is a pride issue in this. Obviously besides the whole thing about needing a job to survive etc etc etc. I hate when I have to tell people that I am jobless. It's annoying. But I also don't want to just settle for some job. It's a weird line. I was thinking about it on my way home today from Soren's play. In addition to just looking for work...
~I have three ideas for novels rolling around my head, all I have little bits and pieces of.. I just need to focus on one.
~I was asked to edit my friends novel and have yet to start.
~My friend Sarah gave me some great ideas for volunteering opportunities.. I need to do something with my time.
~I've started training for a half marathon. I'm probably not going to actually run one, but I needed a goal.
~I've just moved into a place with Christine. I have my own kitchen. I am so pumped. Let the baking commence. I made Kjirst a strawberry-rhubarb pie for her birthday. It turned out pretty well. I was rather pleased.

I was talking to Alan today, Soren/Kjirst's dad, and he asked me what I have been writing lately. I was caught off-guard about this. I forget sometimes that he knows about this and it was a nice change of pace from focusing on a year and a half in London. With slight embarrassment I told him I was working on a chick-lit piece as well as a couple other things. Touching on the other thing because I was embarrassed to speak it aloud. I don't think outside a couple friends I have admitted to this... So I find it interesting that I would choose to release this information to this father-figure in my life who I just love and respect so highly. And also to not have him react the way I was expecting. He was happy and encouraging. I appreciated it.

I am reminded daily the range of amazing people I have in my life. Honestly. This last week has been a bit rough and it's been so nice to have people to be able to call or lean on.

As another random note.. There needs to be more cupcake wars or GBBO on Netflix. What the heck. One season? I know there are more. :P