randomanda strikes again!

sometimes i look at some peoples blog posts and think, too many words.. not reading it.. i feel like this post is that way. sometimes i do read them.. but the thought is there, and it makes me chuckle because i do like to read, but that font is off-putting. (o_o)

my friend brittany calls me "random" or "rando" (roots from the greek word "randomanda") which totally cracks me up and makes me smile. i've always been a fan of nicknames, but this one in particular seems oh-so fitting. have i mentioned this? ah well..

in one of my writing classes we talked about the panel we write for. basically, when i write, what are the expectations from these people who are supposedly reading my words. well, i think when i write my blog i have particular people i write for/at, depending on topics of choice. there's something i need you to understand about me and here's me telling you. it's rarely for the sake of a journal-esque post.. here's what's going on in my life. i actually do keep a legit journal for that. something to think about. reaction and all. that might stir the pot a bit. but gosh, don't get all self centered, it's not all about you.

so i was watching this show.. i'll admit. it was vampire diaries. laugh it up, moving on.

of course everyone on this show is extremely good looking.. i dare to say.. "hot," although i abhor that term.. perfect hair, teeth, bodies, the girls wake up with perfect hair and makeup and the guys have abs that are actually quite shocking.. (stupid television) a passing thought while watching--as much as women get on a soapbox about how females are portrayed in media and how normal women don't look this way.. it's the same way with the guys, but oh so rarely expressed. normal guys don't look this way. normal guys don't have jobs that are based strictly on their looks. i feel like there has been an explosion opening a crazy fanfare that women compare the men in their lives to stupid fictional characters, and the real guys, (remember them? the cool ones with the clever humor and great conversation?) are left in the dust of some stupid woman's outrageous fantasy. sorry ladies, edward cullen is not coming for you. and men should never sparkle, in fantasy or otherwise. this is not to say that in my normal world there aren't good looking guys, cause there are. but it's gotta be hard to live up to a false depiction that girls insist on plastering their walls with and swooning over.

sorry guys..

i've hit the sophomore slump.. (or comeback of the year..) i've been looking for work for the last month and a half. in that time, i've only heard back from a few and obviously no takers. it seriously sucks. and honestly, living on the island isn't really helpful. it's kind of hindering the whole job scene, time-wise and cost of ferry. it would be super if, rather than a cover letter of formality and accomplishments i could just say:

dear potential employer:

you don't realize this now, but i'm pretty stellar. with a combination of my staggering wit and awesome people skills, i would totally rock in your place of employment. give me a chance, i won't let you down. i've done the office scene, i've done the customer service area and with these powers combined, i would be the perfect choice for you.

thanks for the time,

ari

empathy girl: i may have mentioned her before.. but-a while ago i came up with a silly idea for a comic i was going to write.. it was mostly the people in my life and everyone had an alter ego. empathy girl is my alter ego. and sometimes she's for good or bad. it's yet to be determined.. but sometimes she's pretty killer. how to explain.

for starters: i don't do medical. watching someone being cut up in shows causes me pain. not like, oh-that's-gross, i-feel-ill.-i-might-spew. it's feels like a physical slash. it may not be to the extent that they might feel, but the pain is there, it lasts, and it's real. let me tell you it was especially annoying being around 5-8 women in my bootcamp class when i was in az that liked to discuss their varying birthing stories.. while doing crunches. oy. really!?! enter bayside, max volume..

i feel too much. my anger/happiness is my own and it can be full in its own regard. and sometimes, and i've realized it might depend on my emotional connection with the other person, but i feel their pain, grief, happiness, like a slice to my insides or a swell of joy. when my friend aches, whether i know the cause, i feel their pain. when they are angry, i feel their anger added to my own and it magnifies. (this is why i'm not sure what side empathy girl is on). when someone has done something to hurt them, my forgiveness does not come as readily. a true happiness is added to the happiness i feel for them. it's an odd thing really. i don't feel like it's a burden i take upon me, more just a loyalty i gain for them.

ahh, empathy girl. a blessing or a curse?

blog title--"lord, what fools these mortals be!"- you're aware this line is from midsummer nights dream, right? i found this treat of a video, and yes you should watch.

i feel like there is a slight change in my writing "voice" depending on my mood, especially within this post. and it's a roller coaster ride. can you hear it?

too many words.

Jasper Fforde

Mostly- notes for Jennifer and Colleen, who I have yet to speak to. Can I start out with I totally love that man! I really wonder though what goes on in his head. But here's some news.

He's got a book coming out every year running up till 2014. Another nursery crime book, some top secret book of 2012.. but no news on Shades of Grey 2. FYI.

Random funnies:

*Whenever someone in a book hits the snooze button, the reader is forced to go to sleep and a kitten in the book world dies,.. which means every time you go to sleep while reading, a harmless kitten is dying. Hey, I didn't make the rules...

*Mangos are funny, oranges aren't.. in the same way that banana's are funny and parsnips aren't.

*He has a list of silly things that he thinks could potentially be funny names. His mother says "thursday next" and that's where our gal, Thursday comes from.

*When he goes to restaurants and the waitress asks if he has any questions, he responds with-

yes, why is it that orange jam is called marmalade?

why is it that Chewbacca is the only one in the end that doesn't get a metal of honor?

*Pickwick the dodo was originally a cat named Elmo until he went to a museaum and they had a big stuffed dodo. He went to the gift shop asking if they had a dodo reengineering kit.

*Everyone chooses sides between Bronte and Austen. He grew up in a Bronte home, and the Bennet sisters are a bit drippy.

*He throws stuff in books that are funny puns that you don't actually get until later... You've been punned by stealth.

*Most of his writing comes from a narrative dare. Here's a situation that you put a character in and you have to dig them out of it. Which is really how the Eyre Affair came to be. What if Jane Eyre got kidnapped...

An example to the narrative dare:

You look out the window one day and you see a gorilla in a tree. How do you get him out? Well, you remember that earlier that week you got a flier for a gorilla removing service and you give them a call. A man shows up and says that bananas will do the trick but that the gorilla could become violent. He says he will go pick up bananas while you stay with the hostile gorilla. No, no, you say. You will go get the bananas. You leave and come back with the bananas and your house has been ransacked and everything is gone. You call the police and they come around telling you that there has been a lot of this going around, and that they've been trying to catch the gang that's doing this. Oh, the man, you ask. No, the gorilla. The man's just the accomplice, but they need to speak to the gorilla about tax fraud.

Guess what? I actually went on an adventure this weekend! Here's some notes..

a. on the way down, i've got my ipod on shuffle to go through all my tunes, which i don't like doing.. BUT i am driving through seattle in some crazy rain, the space needle to my right and what song comes on? seattle by tcc.. rain on everything that i know.. i laughed.. i laughed a lot...

1. KIM! Man oh man it was awesome to see her. I invaded her home for a couple days. She's such a kick, always an adventure to be sure. Which included an.. interesting YSA activity. Cowboy Murder Mystery dinner. Add some bad accents, bad motive, bad plot.. and a fake dead guy that was shot TEN TIMES in the back. TEN.. TIMES! I'm still flabbergasted by it. You'd have to reload to do that much damage. Then there was the script that they just kind of came up with on their own.. But the icing on the cake was that of the ten suspects, one was supposed to be a black guy. Not having any on hand wouldn't have stopped them apparently because one young gent was going to paint himself black for the role. I found this out after and I had to excuse myself a bit.. due to horror. And you know I can't hide my expressions well. Oy.. OY!! Thankfully, Harry Potter saved the day. (We went and saw it afterwards.) Followed by an awesome Sunday. Seriously.

b. FYI. I heard back from UW. I didn't get in. And I say with complete honesty, no woe is me here.. I'm totally cool with that decision. I didn't expect to get in. Out of state is outrageous and this gives me time to find work and save up before I drop a bunch of money back into school. My only problem is the limbo land of uncertainty where I once again find myself. doo doo dooo

2. Caryn Jones: Before I hit Portland I went on handy dandy facebook to see who might also be in Portland. Come to find out, Caryn.. My former swim teacher and Derek's ex girlfriend from high school. Come to realize I haven't actually seen her in 10+ years. But it was great to see her, and her little boy.

3. Mindy! Who I haven't actually seen since 2008.. Way too long!! Mindy is the best of a few worlds. Book land where she reigns superior.. She also happens to be an amazing cook. She was awesome before she went to culinary school, and I can only imagine the awesomeness that is now potentially emanating from her little finger. She's Sookie, but without the clumsy and fire hazard. Her kitchen was in construction mode, so I have yet to partake of that level of awesome. She put up with a lot of my nonsense this weekend, which I appreciate. We went out with her parents, who are such a riot, btw.. Went to Pittock mansion, the Portland Temple, Voodoo donuts and some funny random shops and places along the way.

c. when we went to the portland temple, i was walking out and my camera dropped from my grasp and in a flurried motion and moment, i flung my hand out to catch it... the cord looped around my ring finger and hung safely while I stood there gaping.

d. my eyes went wonky at some point.. and couldn't see for about 30 minutes. it was annoying and kind of terrifying. it was like walking around following a bright light about 10 feet in front of me. yes, i know.

e. some pics..

Pittock Mansion

I love temples.. they're so photogenic..

(Old Dirty Bastard... that's what it's called..)

Up next? Jasper Fforde. I swear it is coming.

Short Spurts of Nonsense!!

Per the request of one, Travis Washburn, I am posting some random "spurts of nonsense" that I've written.. boredom results in... this.. Some old, some new.. Although the true prize of the evening will not be posted until a later date... Anticipation and all... And editing. Do realize that these stem from an overactive imagination and obviously not all is reality.. What am I saying? I don't care.

READ ON!

trip to the dentist

Make no doubt about it, I went willingly. A nameless girl in a white jacket came to the waiting room and called my name. I followed her, pausing only briefly in the doorway of the room she entered. The room expanded and was a glistening sterile white with five rows of chairs from the door snaking to the back. Dental chair after dental chair. We passed chairs with dental hygienists in training scraping and poking their victims and we finally came to my own personal torture station. This would be some peoples worst nightmare, I laughed to myself. They set off and that stale rubber taste from the gloves filled my mouth and reminded me of dentist visits past. They berated me with questions and requests that I could only respond with a jumbled mixture of sound that they pretended to understand. Maybe there was a class they offered in jumbled musings in the chair. They loomed over me in their white coats poking and directing. I felt confined and borderline claustrophobic. The excessive white was closing in. I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake... My thoughts became frantic, unlike my jest from earlier... but it was too late for such concerns. The white was closing in. With all the plastic, cotton and hands in mouths, it was the perfect set up. Over the spraying, sucking and gurgle of patients and machinery, no one would hear you scream.

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grape jelly

imagine an existence, a childhood of only grape jelly. jars and jars up in your closet. it's for food storage, she says. ah, this sounds good to you, i'm sure.. but then imagine as a young child having PB+J sandwiches daily.. but by the time you were able to get to said goodness, it had been smashed and one side of the bread oozed a dark essence.. the sad version of its former self. it became tainted. and those jars in your closet became daunting future horrible sandwich experiences. lunches, having to force it down with your carrot sticks. never to experience the joy of any other flavor, just grape alone.. manifesting itself constantly through the bars that attempted to bind it.

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buzzzzz

He liked feeling the wind inch over every bit of him, without having to do the work of actually flying. The air rushed at him at a speed that he would never experience on his own. The windshield wipers were made specifically for him to sit and enjoy the breeze. He began turning in circles and noticed the giant human, eyes wide, staring at him. What's the big deal? No harm done here. But no, the giant felt threatened by something that was one millionth its size. The ledge sprung to life and flipped him through the air and at another oncoming vehicle. Caught completely by surprise, he jet up towards the heavens, regained his stance and found the vehicle that had flung him without mercy, and sped toward it with death defying speeds. Thankfully, the beast was stopped on the road, and the back window was open. He flew in, fierce and angry, buzzing around till he found his target. It tried to flip him away with its hand. This only made him more angry. An obscenely high pitched shriek filled the vehicle as his last act consisted of him stabbing the fiend with the only weapon he possessed.

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I was reading this book, a beautiful book by one of my favorite authors. There was this moment that I realized who was responsible for the doom that had befallen the household and what was sure to come. I was alone upstairs. I could hear my roommates laughing at the movie they were watching, but all I could feel around me was the pending destruction that had engulfed me from my book. I took a break and looked out, hoping for a touch of a breeze from the open glass sliding window that overlooked the valley. But all I could feel and see was the blackness.

I was alone in the light and the night was closing in around me, making me claustrophobic. I should have stopped, just put down the book. It's not like the story was actually scary, but the ghosts and ghouls waiting for their redemption were also waiting in the darkness. When I slammed the book shut, it was only because I couldn't take it anymore.

The darkness closed in, and the poor souls in the book were surely rushing in from the black night through that cursed open door. And suddenly, there was no escaping the night. Windows surrounded me on all sides and there was no safe haven. Windows by the front door, huge GAPING windows downstairs to a door that doesn't lock. One hallway was encompassed by blackness and the other led to an open bedroom door, the night taunting me with its presence from the window. My whole self was filled with fear as I rushed to close the door and sit cross legged on the floor near the bathroom, only to see the reflection of yet another window in the mirror.

I scurried down the hallway where I would be clear from being seen, while my roommate peeked out from the bathroom, looking at me quizzically, inquiring with her eyes why I was behaving so oddly. I pulled my knees to my chest, staring straight ahead...

...too many windows..

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