Random things I've been thinking about.. Amanda's brain 310. (It's a 300 level course. If you haven't taken the intro courses, you may have a hard time understanding the material.

things that have thwarted my perception

1. A tank of gas can actually take me further than 3 hours. I had my little 1994 Nissan Pickup for.. 7 years? Maybe? Part of that time I was at school and driving between Arizona and Idaho caused poor Junior such distress. (My trucks name was Junior) I felt like we were always stopping for gas. It freaks me out a little how far I can get on one tank, and then am thwarted thinking it should be more.

2. 3 hour drives consist of the thought process of: 30 minutes to Benson, 45 minutes to Tucson, Picacho Peek, Casa Grande, and then the turn off to Bekki's. It's been ages since I have made this drive, however, so who knows what the actual turn off would be anymore. BUT whenever I make a 3 hour drive, this is the path I am taking. 2 hours to Safford. (Benson/The Thing/Turn off/Safford. If it's 5 hours, it's driving to Safford then driving to Mesa. It doesn't matter if I am in Arizona or not.

Other random notes.

"I can't hear you, I don't have my glasses on." What? What is this nonsense? Oh it's something I used to tease my mom about, BUT alas, I have found that I am able to hear and understand better if I can SEE what you're saying and not just hear it. I have a tendency to read lips which is all so frustrating when I can only see a blur of facial features.

Mandy Jigs: I have a tendency to say I was so excited about something that I would do a jig. I didn't ACTUALLY jig. I do now. I get excited and I freaking dance around. It's ridiculous. Thankfully I am usually among friends when I do this, or alone.

Try: I think to say you're trying to do something is a load of bull. It usually means you aren't or won't. Let's TRY to get together.. I'll TRY___. Yeah yeah. It means you don't actually care enough to DO it. (And when I say YOU, I completely include myself in this debacle.)

I am a mutt of my siblings. As the youngest, a lot of things got funneled down to me. I realize this. It amazes me at times that no matter the sibling I am with, there is something that processes our alike-ness and where I learn to appreciate certain things. I realized this again while I was getting excited with whatever new bbc thing Colleen was getting me into.

I find myself far more clever at times than I might actually be. And I laugh all the same. I also think I am more witty on paper. I have the time to process. Sometimes my brain doesn't connect with my mouth properly and I could be thinking of something absolutely brilliant and what comes out is merhjahsofijalwruf. (awesome.)

I used to say that you can tell the kind of hug someone would give depending on their handshake. It was in my more huggy days. I'm not sure my ruling really applies but sometimes it still crosses my mind when I get a really dreadful handshake.

I love taking pictures. Whether I am any good at it is a totally different story. BUT! I HATE taking pictures of people. It makes me anxious and annoyed. I love old buildings and buildings in general. Landscapes, mountains, and I love storm clouds. People? Eh. No thanks.

Christmas- a beautiful holiday where we can celebrate our Saviors birth or commercial scum-bags. It's a tossup. I'm often thwarted by peoples need to go insane over the holidays, whether in decorations or gift giving/receiving. And it kind of irks me having to switch off my Christmas music when it's "not time yet." Maybe it's time for me. Leave me alone.

But.. I have to take a moment and step back from myself and what I observe to something greater. Partially the unity of Christians under Christ. Here's a time that we can come together and celebrate at least one thing Christians agree on, Jesus Christ. We take an extra moment to serve others because that's the spirit of the season and to be the hands on Earth for Him, who we serve.

I'm cool with that.

I've gotten into the nasty habit of keeping what I believe to myself. Sometimes it's because I feel that my knowledge is small in some of these areas and I hate being made to feel a fool, so I keep things to myself. I also feel uncomfortable around religious zealots that are so pushy and overbearing that it makes me ill. I'm not ignorant in this truth. I'm not following a mass hoard just because they are the teachings of my childhood. I'm 25 years old. I can figure this out. I hit a point this week again of knowing and understanding that there is a God in heaven and that He loves me. That Jesus Christ is my savior. It seems to me as of late that there are things that I could get hung up on, but what's the point when the truth is there and it is plain and simple.

And with that, I end.

Happy New Year

Really great post forthcoming.

I've been thinking about it, and it's going to be a doozy.

But other things are more important and pressing.

Just you wait.

Happy Christmas.

I made this awesomely awesome compilation of songs that I totally LOVE right now. . So here's my choices.. and why.

It's called: "my TOP DUDES! Don't you test these besties"

Which is actually a reference to THIS!

1. Hey Sandy by Polaris

The theme song to The Many Adventures of Pete and Pete which is the most ridiculous show that I LOVED growing up; it's about 2 brothers, both named PETE. Anyway. Christine and I have bonded over this on many occasion.

2. Vagabonds by The Classic Crime

Umm. My favorite band!! that I got to see in August with Bekki. They did an acoustic set which was outstanding and we got to meet them afterwards. Great song, really. "I can't get enough.."

3. Be Calm by Fun.

"I've reclaimed the use of my imagination, for better or for worse I've yet to know." I got to see Fun. with Christine this fall. It was really great, but I didn't like this song... Until I listened to it a few times and when Christine pointed out to me that the song reminded her of ME. Cause, if you don't know- I'm a paranoid whacko. (And i need to tell myself to be... calm..)

4. Dream like New York by Tyrone Wells

He came to Provo, of all places, on his tour. I think he's AWESOME and I strongly recommend checking his stuff out. This was my intro to his awesomeness, although he didn't sing it at Velour.

5. Let the Rain by Sara Bareilles

This is my ballad. Holy smokes, honestly. I love love this song. I got to see her too and was so pumped when she sang it. (I went to a lot of shows... with Christine.) "That the world was filled with much more/Than the drowning soul I've learned to be/I just need the rain to remind me" (Desert island song, I swear)

6. Remnants by Tear the Sails

Sadly you won't find this album anywhere. I love this group, although for some reason I associate them with Sherwood Forest?? It's because of the BLT in 2006. It's a ridiculous explanation.. "I'm doing my best to keep this in line/chasing the dreams/the ones that I thought were mine...I realize that it's the memories that make me stay and convince myself that this was not in vain." I love this song.

7. I'd Rather Dance with You by Kings of Convenience

This song makes me chuckle. I have a visual of THIS VIDEO in my head whenever I hear it. And it's not that I'd rather dance (cause I don't dance) or haven't read a book all year and have nothing to say. (False.. I chatter on so much it's ridiculous.)

8. All Those Pretty Lights by Andrew Belle

This is one of those, I got to see him in Provo. He was one of the guys opening for Tyrone Wells. He was such a kick and the nicest guy.

9. Winter by Bayside

This is an older song but it would run through my head when I was in Rexburg walking home- "I'm waiting for the sun to come and melt this snow/wash away the pain and give me back control.." There are other reasons too, but this song in particular has always been a favorite of mine. It's also one that I am attempting to learn on the guitar. But I suck at rhythm. (Which is so sad since I've played THREE instruments.)

10. Det snurrar i min skalle by Familjen

I was requesting music suggestions and I got this VIDEO from my friend. It's SO well put together with the clips they put the song to. Yes, I realize it's in Swedish. But really. I am so entertained every time I watch the video and hear the song.

11. I Wanna be the One by Fun.

"For everything you lost and all you overcome/I wanna be the one to put it in a song." I just really like this song. And.. now that I listen to the WHOLE album again and again, it was really hard to choose which Fun. song should be THE songs illustrated. Now that I've listened to it for a couple weeks, I would like to show another.

12. Tell Her This by Del Amitri

I went through a phase of watching excessive amounts of Scrubs, and man oh man, this song is PERFECTLY placed in the episode of what he SHOULD do.. And they do they have great tunes in that show. Anyway, this one in particular caught my attention and demanded my purchase.

13. Headlights by The Classic Crime

"Please don't face the headlights of the oncoming cars alone.." Dude. Seriously. These guys rock my socks. I am learning this one on the guitar too. But.. really, guys. In the name of all that is good in the world, you should check out this band! go!

14. Uncharted by Sara Bareilles

"compare where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get nowhere." She just has good tunes that I like to jam to.

15. Can't go back now by the Weepies

Oldie favorite BUT! such a great song. "I can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else/But in the end, the only steps that matter/Are the ones you take all by yourself." It's one of those, I'm moving to a place that I am nervous (but excited) to go to. (So I started singing a song called "Nervous but excited..." jk.. but if you get the reference you get a million points. Kj you don't count)

16. Love @ First Sight by the Brobecks

They opened for The Spill Canvas when I went and saw them.. with Christine. "Could this be love at first sight or should I walk by again." Silly song, but I find it so entertaining. And the band was such an eclectic gathering and the lead singer had SUCH a swagger that I couldn't get enough.

17. Light a Roman Candle w/ me by Fun.

"If we were honest and both wrote a sonnet/together a sandwich with everything on it." They are just.. Fun. It's new! It's exciting. It's something you should give a look at, and promise that you will listen to it 3 times before you give a your review.

18. Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine

This is an excellent way to wake up in the morning and drive to work at 6/7 in the morning. Let me tell you what.

19. Winter Song by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

It's an actual winter song. It's not really about Christmas or the holidays, it's about winter. It's long. It's awful. It passes. It's another song I play on the guitar. Well? Not so much, but I enjoy it.

20. As Long as it Takes by The Spill Canvas

"Strange how no matter what the distance/You can never escape yourself/Distorted by your own reflection/But only I can tell." Not sure why I like this song so much, but It's definitely on my "Top Dudes" list when it pops up on my ipod and I crank the sound so freaking high, and I jam.

21. Seattle by The Classic Crime

dum dum-dum dummm.. dum dum dum dum-CHA! This was the first song that hooked me to them. And their video entertained me. (flip flip) And I'm moving. I had to put their Seattle song! It's was of basic necessity.

And this concludes the Randomanda post of the day.. Week? Ah who knows.

Stay tuned

I have gotten a lot of support from friends and family about my decision to move to Washington. In my mind, Seattle is a cooler place to visit than Utah, so it's partially a; "hey, I'm moving and you should come visit me in this really cool city." My only problem with the support I have received is that I have this slight concern that there are some that might be telling me that this is a SWELL idea, when thinking, maybe not so much. (This has happened to me before, and what is disastrous is that I want input on this matter. Really. I do. The good, the bad, the ugly..)

I made a decision. I am attempting to follow it through. In a moment of complete distress, I'm not sure if it's the right decision anymore. (I am having a moment of doubt, alright?) I moved to Utah partially because I hate the Arizona heat, and partially because I had a bunch of friends from school in the Provo/Orem area, and I missed my friends terribly. And here I am attempting to leave them for.. the black abyss.

No. It's not such an abyss. Just possibility and new adventure I suppose. It's the next step into something. But I guess I keep hoping that someone will give me a reason to stay. I really good reason. I have a hard time finding work, and I am DONE with Michaels. I need... something.

Last night we had our Thirsty Thursday event, and quite a few of my friends asked if I REALLY needed to move. {It made me think today that opting to move and having my friends sad by my leaving was like getting a sneak peek of my funeral.. Morbid and crazy? Yes, but it sure makes me feel special.} And I realized once again that I do this ridiculous thing, it seems ALL THE TIME. I will be some place for an extended period and it's all strange and new and potentially horrible, I subconsciously (your subCONscious) don't start liking the place or doing cool stuff till towards the end because I hit a point of, "I don't care I'm moving" (or it's the end of the semester). Then I am suddenly freaking social and I am sad to leave the place & the people. WTQ, Amanda... W-T-Q!

I have to remind myself that NOTHING is set in stone. It's not. I'd be living with my Mom & Stan in WA till I found a place and work. And Kjirst hasn't made her plane ticket yet. (She's driving with me and then flying back). I'm not sure why I'm freaking. It's what I do, I guess.

Breathe.. just breathe.

Since last time.. ish..

Saw Sara Bareilles in SLC. She's AWESOME!

Went to Harry Potter midnight showing and let my geek flag fly...
We all did..
My friend Kim moved back to Washington.
We had a snow storm hit. It was stunning.. Until later that afternoon when it was all nasty and dirty. The snow is pretty much gone now, but it was nice for that week. A group of us went sledding, which I seriously haven't done in YEARS! (Yea, all those falls/winters in Rexburg.. I didn't really. It's so freakishly cold there)
I am driving home to AZ in 11 days. I can't contain my excitement on this plan. I am so excited to see my siblings (-1). I was stuck in Orem last year, which wasn't all that bad, but I didn't want to spend another. I will NOT be going to Sierra Vista. There's nothing really to make me drive the 3 hours down from Mesa.

I wish I had something cool to say. I'm working on my application for grad school. It really terrifies me. So much seems to hang in the balance of a personal statement-of which I don't know where to even start.

expletive.

I miss my best friend today..

(when you're the best of friends... doo doo doooo!)
You apparently beat the crap out of each other and call each other "the spawn of satan" and "sycophantic puke."

Wow.. Sor, you are such a dork. And you are COMPLETELY UNABLE TO DEFEND YOURSELF!! bwahahaha!

11 more work days...

19 more day days..

I am dreaming of a brown Arizona Christmas.

Until then...