Oh look, they're communicating!

There is something so frustrating and obnoxious about the human condition and the lack of communication that comes with it. While I have been FIRST thinking and dwelling with my relationships with men, this can be with anyone.
Don't want to breach an awkward subject...
Don't want to hurt someones feelings, when sometimes in the long run it just makes things worse.
etc.
I have been trying to be more honest and forthright when it comes to certain things, because I am sick of attempting to dance around a subject. (I don't attempt to dance around the subject, it just ends up happening.)

So this actually stems from something I've been thinking about, having been stuck in my own brain and reading/watching too much. Let me tell you- I am a sucker for a good romance. We will use The Office for an example. (I've been listening to blurbs) You have Jim and Pam who have been friends for a while, and speaking as an objective third person party outside with absolutely no interest in the matter-- we can totally see that they are really keen on each other. I remember getting so frustrated at how clearly obvious it was. Why-can't-you-just-say-what-you-MEAN!! They could have gotten together so much sooner. We all knew it was going to happen.

It's so frustrating.

And I've come to realize.. it's so real. (again, my example was dramatized but still.)

I find myself in these random situations on occasion that I'm really keen on a gent, but HEAVEN FORBID he actually KNOW about it.. Cause that might make things terribly awkward.. What if it wrecks everything. I want our friendship to remain intact! And I don't want to put my heart on my sleeve and have it smacked aside with piteous look. Ugh.

But then there is that nagging feeling in the back of my head..
What if it is like one of those situations, the dance is happening and I just need to end it and say what I'm thinking!
What if I just bite the bullet and told him.
"Matter of fact, I like you..." Bam-done.
I mean.. at least it's out of the way and I'm not left wondering. Right? At which point I can get over it.. This works in theory. But what if he likes me, too?
Those blasted what-ifs.
Although I have done this before. Generally when I was too far away for anything to come from it. It was a weird, "haha, btw... " moment. Gosh, I'm a weirdo.
(Friend Zone) 

And then there is the present stupid circumstances of, wow I like so and so.. But I'm leaving. There's not point in attempting that. I was talking to a buddy of mine and he asked me if there was anyone I was interested in.. To avoid the subject, I just said it didn't matter, cause I was moving anyway. Which is true, but it was still a way to strategically avoid the subject- get him to answer without me divulging.

I'm going to bed.

-A