Minor Sunday Panic

Salutations. My dear friend pointed out that, technically, I have left people out of the loop regarding the whole grad school thing. So for the 14 followers I have, I apologize. :P

So to fill in the blanks, I have been accepted to:

AND 

Whaaaaa! Yes. It's very exciting. I am still wrapping my head around the reality of it. (There are a couple others but why mention it when my top-dudes are right there...) First choice? I am honestly thinking Glasgow has the better program, location for me, people, and a myriad of other things. Although London is London and that's pretty epic.. Besides the fact that there will be more LDS people and they have cheaper tuition and offered me a scholarship. But cost of living is waay higher...

But here's where the Sunday panic comes in. I'm sitting there in the middle of sacrament meeting minding-my-own-business and then I realized there was an ache.. A huge dark fist grabbed my insides and held them. My heart ached...  Is that stupor?? Is this WRONG??
(enter forced calm breathing and staring up at the lights to refrain from breaking down into tears.)
The problem there too was that I was already having an "empathy girl attack" and I couldn't tell if I was upset over that or over grad school....

Then the flurry of questions:
While I love Seattle there is nothing to keep me here.. but that damned "what if" rears it's ugly head.
What if I choose the wrong school?
What if I can't do it?
What if I am doing it for the wrong reasons?
What if I go and then, after it's all over, I'm just in debt and continuously jobless or working dead-end jobs?

Gosh, I'm a wreck. 

And I'm sure you're thinking.. Poor Amanda.. terrible What a thing to have to choose between SCOTLAND AND LONDON.. 

shut it.

Happy Birthday.