love / hate / enmity

I was listening to an LDS talk tape once when I was growing up, (I loved them and couldn't get enough) and I still have the voice of this particular speakaer in my head talking about loving and serving one another. . . And the thing that sometimes replays in my mind is, "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's enmity." He then proceeded to give an example where at least with hate, you still acknowledge their presence, but with enmity it's so cruel that you disregard them completely.

It's somethin' else to take someone off the world completely..

Over the years I have thought about this. I've disliked people immensely. I've been frustrated and upset and hurt... But to pretend they don't exist? To not acknowledge them, over something petty, surely, when they're in a room with you. Ah, that's the cruelest of all. I can't do it. I've tried. 

I had a couple experiences of this in college. There were a few girls that honest to goodness hated me. I wish it was something good, about a boy or something. I'm sure it would make a better story. But it was trivial dorm girl things. Man, they hated me. I'm amused thinking about it. Sometimes they would go out of their way after having made eye contact to avoid me. One girl approached the friend I was with and started speaking to her enthusiastically and didn't acknowledge my presence. I was invisible. It was amazing! Quite the feet, I have to say. I was both shocked and amused. There's always a little glint of a smirk when these things happen. I had hoped it would end with those teen years. 

It's amazing to me the hypocrisy of man. How someone can be so willing to tear someone down. I'm not sure what is worse, to do it behind their back or to tell them point blank. I guess there is no tiptoeing around it, but how miserable do you have to be to tell someone to their face that you despise them? That's what we're always told, right? The biggest bully is the one who is most miserable? Problems in their life and home? The most insecure are the ones that lash out? 

Whatever. It's cruel and unnecessary. Am I sometimes unnecessarily mean? Yes, I won't ever deny that. But I have my limits. 

I'm working on my talk for Sunday and I just got completely sidetracked. This isn't my subject at all. 

A minor interlude of hope: 

Alma 37:36–37: “Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”