So here I am. Lost in thoughts on various things. A few things I do not wish to admit out loud and others that are ridiculous and amusing.
So here goes.
I took a creative writing class during my undergrad, I am pretty sure this was the correct class, and there has been something that stuck with me in my existence. I just remember my teacher asking us what our panel looks like. Who do we write to/for? I remember trying to force teachers or friends onto this imaginary panel for when I write.
Somehow this has shifted into my life. I realized that I have my own panel of people for my life. I don't know how to exactly explain it.
Who might these people be?
Well.. We begin with Jessica/Janiece Johnson. (maybe that family as a whole, actually) Who are these people, you might be asking? Well, my best friend from HS/BYUI's older sisters. They are incredibly talented, intelligent and savvy women that in my 17 year old (and on) mind, they just seemed to be what I could never be but wouldn't it be cool if. They were what adulthood looked like.
I am sure if I were to tell them this they would just laugh at me at the high place they hold.
I remember talking to Jessica once after I graduated from BYUI. I had no idea what I wanted to do. But I knew I didn't want to go back to school. I told her I wanted to figure out things first, maybe get some experience. Maybe- maybe school later. She agreed. That sounds like a good idea, she told me. I had an inward sigh of relief. I remember a couple times going to Janiece's house with Jackie. Full of books and beautiful framed photos of these places she had been. Janiece did her PhD in England. I got to see her and her parents when they came out for her graduation. Jessica came to London while I was there and we hung out, went to dinner and saw Matilda. It was the closest I could get to family at that point. They are just rockstars in my book.
Travis. I have no idea if he ever reads this.. Gosh, I hope not.. But he's on my panel for anything writing related. Book related. Photography as well. He's totally on it. Every couple years I would end up back in Utah and he and I would get together and talk about writing and books. Other stuff too, but it always came down to that. He took off a year or so to write. That was his full time job. And he got-a lot-done. (see here) He is incredibly self disciplined and a fantastic writer and photographer. I admire him for this.
And friggin Scott. What-the-heck. I don't know how he ended up there. Don't know why, either. But he's there. Smirking at me, waiting to catch me on some grammatical error. I'm still trying to figure out his use on this. This is a recent realization.
Next up. My "Never" game.
I don't often say "I will never do this." When I do, it's often over ridiculous things.
When my mom got remarried, I made a trek down to SV to do a final grab of my things before moving up to Utah (the first time.) I left saying I would never return.
What? Dont be daft.
I think I said I would never live in Utah again.
Lo and behold..
Some disconcerted sadness about not going to Seattle for a long time (after coming back from London) and I've been 3 times this year and go again in November.
I have some others, but I bring this up because Colleen sent me a job to apply for. It's in Thatcher. It's at EAC. It's for a Library Director job. I think I could do it and it would be excellent experience. I haven't properly lived in Arizona since I was 18, really. Some semesters back from school.. But nothing extended. I hate the heat. I flee the heat. Utah is too hot for me. (I spent the last 5 years in Seattle/London
This would mean
1. I would be in AZ which I have been strategically avoiding for some time. It's friggin hot.
2. I would be in Safford/Thatcher which is a small town and small towns freak-me-out.
3. I would be very very close to family. Bek 3 hrs. Colleen 10 minutes. Mom 2 hrs. What? Weird. Fantastic, of course, but different. . .
And here is where I return to my never game.
When I was in HS I was ticked at Derek for being a jerk and I made a declaration that I would
NEVER go to EAC (all my siblings went there)
NEVER live in Safford/Thatcher (all my siblings did at some point)
NEVER marry someone from the Gila Valley (3/4... 2/4)
NEVER marry a blonde. (3/4... 2/4)
This came to to mind when I was thinking about this job. It means I would of course break half of those. Because I would technically be at EAC and I would be living in Safford/Thatcher.
The others items are moot points and I will not discuss them further.
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