my logic is not sound.

Since coming here, I find that I do things that are strange- by Amanda standards.

Let me begin by saying that sometimes I am socially awkward. This may surprise some and make other people just nod an affirmative. It will depend on the day... I generally avoid social gatherings. I hate mindless getting to know you questions and jumping into conversations with new people, like I have something really great to offer. (that comes later, cause i am great..) It just takes me a while to warm up to people.

When I say I avoid social gatherings, i-avoid-social-gatherings. If it's my own it's not too bad because it's my gathering and I know these people, for the most part. I do occasionally find myself as observer anyway. Creating the fishbowl to watch the fish inside (so to speak). If you had a thing at your house tomorrow and invited me to it, I'd probably think great idea! and then accidently have plans.

For example-

I can think of times when Jackie invited me to a birthday part or something at her apt and I think I went to 1, but left quickly after giving my greetings. For whatever reason, I did not bring a wing-man to these things. (sorry Jack)

BUT! For some strange reason I find myself putting myself in odd situations. (not really odd, but i think about it and think 'whaaaat!?! I willingly went and did that? it's weird.)
(I can do better... I can do better... I can do better... <for you kjirst>)  

For example:
My randomness in regard to shows/bands I've seen. I've gone to a couple by myself. I would never ever have done this in Utah. There I could have possibly made someone go with me, but still. I am a paranoid crazy... So going into downtown to go see a show? Whaaa? I would generally just skip it all together.

I went to a house show where Vocal Few played. They had it announced on their facebook page. Mind, I did get some mighty encouragement from Bekki to go, and potential threats of shunning. But going to a random persons house to see them play... Again I say whaa!? I did have a fun conversation with a girl there about books. Books. Gets me every time.

Speaking of shows, a guy I work with, Simon, played a show at some bar one evening. Yea.. went to that too. Drugs I tell you. Drugs. Or my crazy love of music is getting the better of me.

After I had been at OR (outdoor research) for a month or so,  Eric (different work person) had a birthday thing at his house and invited me to it. "Pizza and beer," they exclaimed... and looked at me and said, "Well, just pizza in your case.." Once again, for some reason, I went. I don't know what possessed me. It's not in my nature to do so. Was it dreadful? No. The only thing that got me was the fact that the only people I knew there were the work acquaintances. Found some good conversation eventually...

The reason I really bring this up is because I went to a thing tonight with a bunch of people I used to work with at Zumiez. I worked there for 3 months. We survived the holidays together. They were amused for some reason by my silly comics/drawings. There were only a couple I ever talked to outside of work, and it wasn't until after I quit. (sounds like no big deal, i know) i only went because it was for candace-to celebrate her awesomeness and her farewell to zumiez. she is pretty outstanding to be sure.) These are people I havent seen in months. People I got along with, but never really saw outside of work or discussed life outside of it. Not with me. I wasn't part of their scene- which I was fine with. But to be tossed into a setting such as this was just different. And Candace was at a different table. I had several moments of why oh why did I drop myself into this?

This doesn't make sense. I am well aware. It's just.. different. And I don't exactly know how I flipped that switch.