it's another late night.. i think i'm possessed

i don't know what my deal is but i've got some random thoughts.. i was reading a post by matt macdonald  and there was a bit about fame and the drug that comes with it. i've never wanted to be in the spotlight. hated it actually. i've been in so many recitals, given talks or lessons at church, or speeches in class. oh, i hated the attention. i hated knowing that all eyes were focused on me. i'd like to say that i've gotten over this a bit over the years, but only a little.. i've had the "don't hide your light under a bushel" idea told to me so many times it's on constant repeat. and with that dislike, i've never been one for fame, fortune, or certainly not any type of spotlight.

my career choice is a simple one, one that i would love to do. (in case your really not aware- i want to be a librarian.. elementary/middle school library) the benefit of it is that it's a combination of my love of books and my love of kids/people. it saddens me greatly when i talk to someone who hates to read, and i think it's because of the books that were forced upon them. /this is good.. this is considered great.. consume or die trying.\

i have a good friend that i worked with at the inn who told me on many occasions that she just didn't like reading, or was very particular about the books she would read.. not particularly the books, but hardback vs paper, and the type of paper used in said book. it's very humorous to consider now thinking back on it. she ended up with one of my books totally by accident, a funny snarky YA book about girls in spy school. (i'd tell you i love you, but then i'd have to kill you by ally carter) umm.. she texted me one day to tell me she had started it and was actually enjoying it. umm whaaa? awesome! i tried not to get TOO excited.. didn't want to spook her.

i've spent hours talking to people about books/movies/etc. i've spent hours reading random varieties and my favorites over and over again. i can't seem to get enough. so, obviously this isn't something that will get me any kind of recognition.. that's never been the goal.

i'm not even sure what i'm rambling about at this point. i need to go to bed. i've got church at 9 am.

but here's a random thought from me to you..

i was wandering around the other day and realized as i was passing the graveyard near my house that.. lo and behold there's a song for this moment.. suddenly i wanted to have a lyrical conversation with someone.

goal: to write a whole letter using only lyrics from a huge variety of songs and have it make sense, and then have someone pick out all the songs. christine, this will probably go to you.. cause that's what i do.

random thought:
my sister and i are total dorks.. i realize that there's big backstory about things we find hilarious, but when it's put simply it doesn't seem like THAT big of a deal.. it is. and i laugh.. we laugh a lot.

last random thought:
i love my siblings. luf. i have particular moments where they rally around me in best amount of support and love, mixed with seinfeld quotes and oozing sarcasm... we are complete, we're hilarious... when we are a collective whole, it's the best of times.

i miss them.