i have a tale to tell. a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day..

this tale begins at 3 am.. eyes popping open to lungs constricting and searching for that blasted kleenex that i was sure i had when i went to sleep. the allergies that i had claimed to be bugging me and the slight head cold had exploded into the worst version of itself.

knowing i had to work in the morning, i attempted sleep.

poorly done, but still attempted.

when i woke for real, i wandered in a stupor gathering my things together.

'just call in, just call in..'

ahh, but i hate calling in to work.. it leaves more work for everyone else and i was sure that once i got started things would ease up. then the home remedies erupted. gargling salt water and drinking a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar diluted in water. and obviously i was miserable because i agreed to do it.

we played musical cars that day, the correct car remaining with children and such. i got stuck with mom's 2001 ford explorer. i hate this car and i am not shy about saying so. i get to langley only to then remember that it was the choochokam art festival.. lots of people, streets blocked off, and no parking.. on a good day i can maybe parallel park my car.. on a really good day. but i was in my mothers beast. it was sure to be an epic fail with essence of that nice orange corvette that was sure to get smashed. i parked up the street a ways in front of a house, hoping that the kind folks that lived there wouldn't be ticked that i parked there. i set the parking break and went down to work.. (that's an important detail)

only to find that one of the girls that absolutely drives me crazy was working and of course got on my case for keeping to myself right. perfect. absolutely perfect.

so in the midst of feeling like crap.. cleaning up other peoples messes and urine infested toilets, you know.. standard days work.. i splattered wine on my ivory work shirt and beer on my pants. awesome.

the day ends, none too soon. i have to go buy a jester hat for my nephew who is just itching for this thing and he handed me his cash this morning.

i go up to find my car after i got his hat.. and the car is gone. my mothers car.is.gone.

note: my mom's winner of a car is on deaths door.. among the other treats that come with this stupid thing, one is that the drivers side door doesn't lock. so i was sure that someone actually stole the stupid piece of crap.

i stood there in a stupor. obviously this blank space was where the car once was.. the people that lived at the house were outside so i went up and asked if they had seen my vehicle.

'was it red?'

yea..

'it started rolling down the street, the police came and towed it away.'

(me in horrified stunned silence.. and yes, this is something else the car does..)

gist: the ford was resting on the car in front of it, and when that car was gone, the ford decided it wanted to go down to the fair. it didn't hit anyone or anything but the police were called and had to place THEIR car in front of it so it wouldn't roll down further. obviously it wasn't rolling that fast, although it may have picked up momentum if it had been given the chance. they stayed there for a while hoping that the owner of said car would return from the fair and remove it.

and of course i'm standing there in horror and in such situations return to my natural sarcastic wit that was being lost on the people in front of me.

oh did i mention that two women came up that were there to witness the whole car/police debacle. no? well they were there.

i thank them for the information and leave the premises. i call the police to find out what happened and splatter out the whole story to the poor woman on the other line who has no idea what i'm talking about. i slow down and tell her the gist and she gets my info to call me back.

amanda fear: that the police would arrive in their snazzy car. i'd feel such a fool.

i call mom and leave her a message. mom, your car got towed away because it wanted to go to the fair. call me back.

the police call me back and tell me the story again, telling me several scenarios of what might have happened.

i've gone over every scenario, trust me. where is it so i can set it on fire? (yes i said this)

info given, not important at this point..

i hope you have a.. better day..

i wander around the fair.. waiting.

hour & a half, a million phone calls and one tasty gyro later... i get ahold of stan to tell him the gist.. but people (mom & stan) have neglected to think that i am still in langley.

i start walking. it's only 6 miles. i should have started forever ago.

long story short (too late!)

stan came and picked me up off the side of the road.

some more switching of cars because i still had the key to the ford, but i refuse to touch it.

the day ends with a bowl of ice cream and dr. pepper, waiting for my sister to return.