Things I will automatically judge: (o.0)
1. The handshake
I hate bad handshakes.. Those lame-sauce handshakes like a limp fish or diva; the respect level that you start at drops automatically. You'll see it in my face.. (my face is an open book, what can i say?) I have to try and wipe off the 'bad handshake' essence later.
2. How the toilet is left
Okay, so I work at an inn and I clean up after people all day. Toilets are part of that line of work and I have no problem doing it, honestly I don't.. Until I open the lid and there's pee lining the rim and on the base of the toilet.. I just think it says something about how you leave it for the next person OR for the person who has to clean it.
'DUDE!! LEARN HOW TO AIM! Pay attention for the 10 seconds your in there and make it in that LARGE hole in front of you.' Some day my curses will strike against these unsuspecting men and they will have no idea what hit them.
3. The only book you've read is Twilight and you claim that it's the best book ever
Your logic is just flawed, for one. And let's be honest.. if you don't read at all and super adamant about it. (yes i have met a person like this) I don't even know what to say at this point. I don't demand that people read what I like to read, but... anything would really suffice. (there are so many mediums for books now.. audio, the physical book, e-books.. give it a try.)
You don't have patience for books? Yea, I don't have patience for you.
4. Saying LOL all the time
Like a million times in a conversation.. Really? Are you really 'laughing out loud?' Calm down! You're going into convulsions!! Have you ever tried saying LOL while laughing out loud? It's ridiculous and difficult. I might as well go around saying.. I'm breathing.. now blinking..
5. Talking with food in your mouth
It's gross... I don't want to hear you chewing either. I've grown accustomed to watching peoples mouths when they talk because I understand them better. I get the whole facial experience, and I don't want to see "the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide open trap." It's such a downer.
note: these are just things i've been noticing as of late.. especially my reaction when these things happen. and my sudden boredom in my writing has left me in a rant list.
note 2: new tunes
The Avett Brothers: I and Love and You & The Ballad of Love and Hate
Wakey!Wakey!: Light Outside & Dance So Good
The New Pornographers: Twin Cinema & Sing Me Spanish Techno (pahha i love this song)
Neon Ballroom: Ana's Song (Open Fire)
4 comments:
i'm pretty sure you should call this a Bottom Ten list.
and I and Love and You is one of my favorites!
I can't wait to meet you!
I plan to give you a dead fish handshake, while talking about the one awesome book I've read, twilight, at the same time chewing food. LOL.
And just so you know I always manage to pee all over the toilet... While talking on the phone (I threw that one in for your sis... I know how it freaks her out)LOL!
I LOVE THIS POST...So entertaining, and I concur with all of them! Especially the toilet one...Come on, have the decency to check and wipe off any (and I don't mean just pee) residue you may have left behind!
You're post made me LITERALLY laugh out loud many times, but, um, I especially love the part at the end where you said you're listening to Neon Ballroom...Yeah, that pretty much made my day! You are the coolest. But you already knew that.
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